Bizarro sci-fi stories “Chupacabra Chalupa” free ebook this weekend

Chupacabra Chalupa — a Kindle ebook of four short stories by David Barker and Jordan Hofer — is available free from Amazon this weekend, September 7 and 8, 2013.


Four Bizarro short stories set in the nefarious world of Conifer Aviation — a black ops government contractor involved in crashed UFOs, dead aliens, human abductions, talking ants and other weird stuff. Conifer Aviation is the creation of Jordan Hofer and first appears in his novel Saucerville. This ebook is a follow up to David Barker’s Conifer-themed ebook Alien Autopsy Barbecue and presents four new stories by Barker and Hofer.

“Chupacabra Chalupa” by David Barker: Eighty five year old Morty may have retired from Conifer Aviation years ago, but he just can’t seem to get away from the place. Even when he’s out having dinner with his wife, trying to enjoy a nice Chupacabra Chalupa in peace, he’s haunted by his past. Reminders of his days as a member of the UFO crash retrieval crew are everywhere, from the murals in the hall way, to the creepy singing urinal in the men’s room, to that bastard Roger Truegood sitting across the aisle from him with a good-looking woman who probably won’t survive the evening, given Roger’s reputation for sending his girl friends to the Gray’s vats when he tires of them. And what’s up with these ants? Let them buy their own chalupas!

“Chemtrails” by Jordan Hofer: Conifer Aviation, Inc. is up to no good again, this time filling tanks on a 747 with some form of chemical or biological agent. Whatever they’re up to, if you’re an employee, it’s always best to look the other way and keep your mouth shut. And if you do flap your trap? Don’t be surprised by who might be listening and what they have in store for you if you do open your big mouth! Because, hey, they’re going to spray their chemtrails anyway, no matter what you say.

“Tiny Drone Mired In Ear Wax” by David Barker: Conifer employee Billy White spends his days off just like millions of other American males — drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. About the last thing he expects is to have a tiny surveillance drone fly into his ear and get stuck in the wax. But that’s just the start of his troubles. Little pitchers have big ears and tiny drones are piloted by guys with ears that stick out and look remarkably like the President.

“Donuts for Douglas” by Jordan Hofer: What happens when a science fiction writer includes Conifer in his short stories, even under a pseudonym? He gets a visit from two Men in Black, Smith and Jones. They’re not dropping by for coffee, but if there’s some left in the pot and, even better, old fashioned donuts on the table, they’re going to stick around and try to figure out how much the writer knows is truth and what remains is fiction. But someone else wants those stories written. Can Smith and Jones prevent reality becoming fiction and fiction turning into reality? Throw in a Gray, and watch fiction and fact whipped up in a Cuisinart.

Length: about 9,400 words.


About David Barker

David Barker is the author of two works of weird horror fiction written in collaboration with W. H. Pugmire: The Revenant of Rebecca Pascal and In the Gulfs of Dream & Other Lovecraftian Tales (both books were published by the now defunct Dark Renaissance Books, but copies are still available from Dark Regions Press.) Barker and Pugmire also collaborated on a Lovecraftian horror novel, Witches In Dreamland, which will be published by Hippocampus Press, possibly in late 2017. Recently, his stories and poems have appeared in Fungi, Cyaegha, Spectral Realms, The Art Mephitic, The Audient Void, The Indiscriminate Mixture and on He has a short story in the weird fiction anthology, Nightmare's Realm, edited by S. T. Joshi and published in 2017 by Dark Regions Press. He also has published several works of horror and bizarro fiction as Kindle ebooks, including the bizarro zombie novel Dead Guys in Packards. Together with Jordan Hofer, David Barker has written two nonfiction books about UFOs and alien abduction: Little Gray Bastards (published in 2016 by Schiffer Publishing) and Unidentifiable Flying Objects (due in Fall 2017 from Schiffer.)
This entry was posted in Aliens, Bizarro Fiction, Books, ebooks, Fiction, Horror, Oregon, Science Fiction, UFO and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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